why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
