Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
