It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
