gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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