If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
