My cat gives me a boner
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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