Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize