I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
