Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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