I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize