12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize