addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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