It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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