This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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