Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
