Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
