dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
