Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize