I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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