the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
