dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
