I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
