i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
