conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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