Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You are a genius and a whore.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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