His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
