Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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