i dont even know how to be here
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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