Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
