I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
