He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
