if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize