my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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