Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
