every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
