A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
