Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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