Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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