No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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