next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
