I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
