So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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