Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize