we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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