I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
