the day after is always just damage control
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
