i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
