You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
