he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
