i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
