remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
