i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
