The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
