i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
