I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
