I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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